Wednesday, 17 February 2010

A Confession...

So, as the title suggests, I have a confession to make.

After a few story rejections and with a lack of quality time, I haven't been writing much recently. I haven't really felt like it, if I am honest. I have wondered whether to jack it in altogether. A week ago I decided to create my own little controlled experiment. I set up a whole new identity, email, twitter account, blog, the works. I started blogging "in my own voice", writing about random every day things. Within a day this blog had 10 followers and the first post had 10 comments on it. In under a week, the Twitter account had 97 followers. NINETY SEVEN. I couldn't believe it.

Anyway I didn't edit my posts on there. I just wrote what I was thinking in a post each day. The blog followers grew to 16 in under a week. The only trouble is, I signed up to it thinking that I would be able to not get attached... but people were so nice. We got talking. I felt like a big fat liar. I knew I couldn't keep it up.

What I have learnt is, that perhaps my writing can make people laugh, and be interesting to a wider audience, if I sometimes just write about life itself. In all honesty, it was a thrill to get so many followers for my new persona in so little time.

Just now, I made sure I was following everyone who had followed my new account. I then deleted my whole new creation. If you were following me and know which account I am referring to, I am really sorry for feeling the need to do this anonymously. I feel like I have deceived people, and I don't like that feeling.

However, as much as I feel guilty for doing this whole "experiment" now, I also feel like I have much more confidence in my writing. I want to thank everyone who follows me and who has read this because it's all of you that made me decide to get everything back in one place. I don't really have enough time to manage more than one "me".

Goodbye "mumfulltime" you taught me a lot.

I hope that everyone who reads this will be able to forgive me for feeling the need to find my voice.

x x x

13 comments:

  1. Hiya,

    I don't think you need to be sorry, it was a creative experiment that really helped increase your confidence by the sounds of it. So congratulations!

    Ciara.

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  2. I wasn't someone affected by this, but I thought you explained things great and I hope everybody is fine about it for you :)

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  3. Lots of people do what you did, in fact I'm one of them. Ok i'm not but I did start an alternative blog for about 5 seconds you can read the one and only post at http://flyingbytheseatofmynappypants.blogspot.com I've just been there and noticed 2 followers! (sorry to them!) And when I add different strings to my bow I would have no hesitation doing the same. Mumfulltime was/is great. I never guessed.

    YOU are great. Now continue x

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  4. Dude, that was *you*! I loved that/her, and now I know why!! Don't you dare stop reading.

    If it helps, like our other brain twin Ms Alison Wells above, I too have an extra blog - mine's supposed to be reserved for relocation ramblings (www.waytogohome.blogspot.com), but has the sum total of 1 post on it because man, fueling my split personality is hard work. We've all been there, apparently...!

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  5. Writing! I meant WRITING, not reading. *muppet*

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  6. wow, what a fabulous experiment, and so great that you found your voice and your confidence to be yourself!

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  7. Wow Rebecca - this is a great post. I am exactly where you were at the moment. Rejections all over the place and getting thoroughly fed up and wondering if I am a crap writer and should give it all up! Thank you for sharing this experiment and for confirming what I suppose we all know at some deep level, that we just need to find our own authentic voice and write from our heart.

    I am still struggling with it all - but am becoming aware that sometimes writing from my heart means being funny, but other times it is being serious! Oh I could go on and on... but just wanted to say thanks for being so honest and sharing. This is a great post that all writers will need to read at some time or other! Good on you. And now as Alison and Sarah say.. just keep writing

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  8. Hey Rebecca

    Really honest post, you've said what I reckon everyone has thought at one time or another. I didn't read your alter ego, but I'm wishing I had!
    You should be chuffed with the success you had with your experiment and do whatever feels good to you. I don't think anyone will think there is anything to forgive!
    Good luck and keep up the good work x

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  9. I think that's a great idea! Do you still have this other blog? I would love to read it. I love your voice. :) My favorite blog posts are about people's lives.

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  10. You got to the heart of what makes writers great! Drawing on our everyday experiences and using them in our writing is how writers make connections to readers! I hope this lit that spark that you needed to get back to your writing!

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  11. Hi Rebecca, lovely honest post, think we all feel a bit despondent about writing into a vacuum at times,
    I find the actual experience of writing itself good for my psyche,
    have detwittered myself, too prone to disctractions, but still alive and well in cyperspace @ love visiting everyones blogs,I'm still writing my blog at sortofwitty.blogspot.com
    Keep the writing faith,
    Brigid x (the artist formerly known as sortofwriting)

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  12. Excellent finding your voice! I absolutely know what you mean. I love writing my blog now that I've got over myself a little. Now I feel more confident in what I'm doing. I find engaging on Twitter really helps too. I have three kids too Rebecca (all bigger kids now) and I'm a Kiwi import living in North Hants. I call myself a writer, but beyond blogging, tweeting and commercial writing haven't touched the manuscript for years now... ;-(

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  13. Really interesting, Rebecca! I don't see that you need to feel bad at all. I think it was a great idea and a great way to find your voice! Good luck with the rest of your writing.

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