Monday, 21 June 2010

Short Story: Perfect Harmony

This story has been published by Ether Books Limited.

15 comments:

  1. Another good story. I liked how you switched mood, once the "second/third/fourth" honeymoon-like holiday was over and the couple returned to normal everyday life. You captured that return to the real world feeling very well.

    One of the things I'm also really enjoying about your stories (whatever the style) is how well you contrast one character with another. Here you have the husband have the chaste lunch and it's the wife who's involved in a physical affair.

    Great work. Keep it up and don't be afraid to try new things and experiment.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Somehow - felt a bit lost in this one. The story line is clear to me, but I think I was maybe missing a punchline... Maybe it was a bit predictable this time? (He pulses which wre always going faster in the story were maybe hinting at something bigger, more eventgul bound to happen....but I think the ending may have been a bit of an anti-climaz maybe. Don't know,really, something was missing, maybe I was not able to step into the character's mind this time. But don't let this disencourage you, cause - still enjoyed reading it and mine is only one opinion anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
  3. I loved the contrast of the vacation world and the real world. I think the way you linked the two was brilliant. I felt a bit sad that being unfaithful was so normal to them. And that they were content to carry on this way. It evoked many different emotions from me.

    Nice work!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Good story I loved the contrast of the real work and their holiday. x

    ReplyDelete
  5. Interesting story. I guess what I was thinking of most was the nature of the infidelity - hers was physical, his was emotional. But both unfaithful. This was easy to read and I enjoyed the description of the contrasting worlds but I could see it as part of a larger work. I felt sufficiently curious to know what happens next!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Great story, as someone else said it's very sad how infidelity is s normal to them.

    Btw think you need to change your blog title. Nothing rambling or rusty here! ;)

    ReplyDelete
  7. Another very good story Rebecca, well done

    ReplyDelete
  8. Great to read - loved the contrasts.
    :)

    ReplyDelete
  9. this was a very interesting read for me, in raising the question whether there is any qualitative difference in their levels of being unfaithful to one another and having gone through the story, I don't think there actually is, even though hers has progressed on to a physical betrayal, in his mind it is no better - he thinks about sex even if it's just to draw a barrier across it, so he is justifying the unjustifiable really.

    Thanks, I like to be challenged by a piece and you did it to me

    marc nash

    ReplyDelete
  10. I enjoyed that - I didn't know what to expect for quite a while, and I relished the turn the story took!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow, I loved that turn. And the way you expose it is so original. Not dwelling on guilt and fear of being caught, the matter-of-fact way they each find satisfaction elsewhere. I really enjoyed that story.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Interesting, how both invented the necessary rationalizations to assuage their guilt. They had scruples, though no morals.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The transition from one infidelity to the other was done brilliantly. A nice look into both their thought processes. The twist at the end was excellent. Great job!

    ReplyDelete
  14. I liked this, how they explored different adventures independently. Well done.

    ReplyDelete
  15. What a passionate story and such a twist. Use of language is great and really drew me in, I was shocked at first but hooked. Thanks for sharing - its great

    ReplyDelete