Saturday, 6 November 2010

Determination

I sit and write this, despite my migraine, despite the sound of building work in the kitchen and despite three children being in the house.

I sit and write because I know I can. I know I have to. I have it inside me and I have to get it out.

What's more... I know I will post this post, I will tweet the link on Twitter, and there will be someone who understands. I love the friendship, companionship and support that comes from the writing community.

If it wasn't for the support of others; Twitter users, blogging friends and Facebook friends, I would not be here now writing this, and calling myself a writer.

Out here in the real world I think my writing is seen as a bit of a hobby. A bit of a waste of time. Something that *adds* to my stress. Something that I *bore* people about. All of these things have been said or implied. The truth is, it calms me. I love it. I feel passionate about it and I take great delight from writing things down that resemble fiction.

I think the respect will come from certain quarters only when I start to make money from my writing.

Along with the fact that writing is not just a hobby to me, it is a *part* of me, only serves to make me more determined, more passionate, and more likely, in my opinion, to succeed.

I have been sitting on book one. It's there, it really is. All I need to do is finish off my synopsis and letter and address the email. That's it. Why haven't I? I'm scared... that is all. Scared of rejection. Scared that these people who don't 'get it' could be right.

Yet every week I write stories and people say they like them. I've even had some published. I have a contract for goodness sake. I am in a fighting mood as I write this. People out here in my real world don't realise that being negative about something makes me determined to prove them wrong.

I'm taking part in NaNoWriMo again. Oh yes I am. The people I mention have no idea. They think I am taking a break from my writing. Well I am doing it and I am loving it. I am *ahead of schedule*.

I am also determined now that before the end of November, book one will be out there looking for a new home.

I am *so* going to do this.

My six year old looked up at me on Thursday when I had a copy of '50 Stories for Pakistan' in my hand. He said 'Are you a published writer now, mummy?'
When I said, 'yes' he looked so proud of me. He gave me a big hug and said 'well done'. This is the thing that has meant the most to me out of everything I have ever done with my writing.

I am glad that my first book is a children's book. I know who I am going to dedicate it to.


If anyone has read this, thank you. It's one of those get-it-out-and-set-it-free kind of posts.
It's basically, just me...

Thank you.

x x x x

17 comments:

  1. I understand. Even though I consider myself about ten writerly paces behind you! 'Getting it out' is the crucial part. I firmly believe that one day I'll implode if I don't start 'getting it out' at a greater rate of knots. Every day, I whinge about NaNo. But trying to explain why to others is fruitless. I don't care if they think I'm insane any more. Ha.

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  2. Well said, Rebecca! Unlike you, I'm unpublished & behind hand on NaNoWriMo, but am slowly getting a new disciplined structure into my writing schedule. Keep going xxx

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  3. Hurrah for you, Rebecca! Yes, send that email and find a home for your book.

    Good luck!

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  4. Great post Rebecca! You have said it for a lot of us out there. I've had articles published but am doing NaNoWriMo to work on my fiction. *just ahead of schedule* !! Good luckx

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  5. I so agree with you about the support from Twitter and the whole online writing community thing. I've appreciated the help you've all given me many times over. As for expecting more respect if/when you get paid for being published... forget it! People out there just don't seem to understand what being a writer's all about.

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  6. Don't mind the people in 'the real world'. They will always look at us writers as a bunch of weirdos. Unless we make millions from our books, of course, which we probably never will. But who cares. Do what you believe in.

    Rock on! ;)

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  7. I've had quite a bit of success in magazines, anthologies and competitions. I have a book coming out at the end of the month, another two anthologies on the way, and a contract for short stories. I have four children's novels under my belt, two of which have very nearly been published, one was worked on with a top London agent. One children's publisher wants another look at my last children's book now it's had an edit.
    But, at home I'm not a success, It's still a 'hobby' and until I dump a few thousand pounds worth of royalties on the coffee table that's the way it will stay. She doesn't even read my work and the only reason she knows I'm published, is because of all the anthologies lined up on the bookcase. If I mention another success, it's greeted with a 'that's nice,' comment. Basically, what I'm saying, is; it's the same for most of us, Rebecca. Dig in, ignore the remarks and carry on writing. You're a serious writer and well on the way to success. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

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  8. Rebecca, I think you're voicing what a lot of us feel most of the time. The main thing is not to give up. Send that email and synopsis. Don't ever let anyone tell you you can't or shouldn't or anything like that. You have to keep believing.

    I only really started taking my writing seriously in the last couple of years and still find it hard to get my head around that I am a writer. I should have done it 35 years ago but, hey, it's never too late.

    Thanks for saying what you have. It has helped me, for one, to know I am not the only one.

    As for Trevor above: I am sorry to hear you get so little support. Sounds like you are doing amazing things and that's so inspiring.

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  9. Wow. You've just summed up how I feel about writing. You're definitely not alone. I'm so glad I've connected with you. And thanks so much fro dropping by my blog too! :o)

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  10. I feel many of the same things you write here. Why are we more respected when we bring in money? I have been asking this question a lot, and was even reluctant to tell people I am a writer until I had a few essays under my belt and a check in the mail. Why, though? Why is art a difficult career to define?
    Thanks for posting this today :)

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  11. I'm not convinced publication and/or getting paid for your writing will silence (all) the nay-sayers or those who think it's just a hobby. But I don't think they'll ever stop you writing or being a writer, either. It's very clear that you are, and always will be, a writer. Keep the faith!

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  12. Wow, you've voiced so may of my feelings on this as well, I have to agree, probably most writers feel the same.
    Even my mom doesn't always "get it" and ask why I waste my time writing instead of working overtime or doing something that pays.
    But writing does pay off for me, and even though many times I feel like the day should consist of 100 hours and that I'd still have left over time to read besides those, I won't stop any time soon!

    Go on Rebecca, you're an amazing writer!

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  13. Found you via DJ Kirby and Nano - yes, ahead of schedule gives a great feeling of satisfaction. As for the 'hobby' bit, it's much the same around here but we just have to keep going.

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  14. ah yes! - a hobby - that's nice dear - are you in Waterstones? we have all heard it - keep on writing girl like we all do, it's all we can do - those ideas and words have to find a home.

    alberta ross

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  15. It was lovely reading about just you. Thanks for sharing. :)

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  16. Oh, what to say? A very touching post, honest, real.

    But stuff the nay-sayers! Sounds like you're doing this for yourself anyways and that's the best possible reason to write anyhow.

    Seriously. And go send the book / email off. Now! Life's too short to sit on something so important to you.

    And maybe you will get a rejection, but maybe you won't.

    How many writers don't get rejected tons of times before finally getting the recognition they deserve? I doubt very much you need reminding of this.

    Think of it this way, send it now and if it's going to be rejected then you might as well get it over with.

    Then you can send it somewhere else and move on until you find someone who appreciates it.

    And think of each rejection as a notch closer to it being accepted!

    Meanwhile, move on to your next project.

    You know you can do it!

    I believe in you!
    ;0)

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  17. Lovely post :) I am inspired. I think the praise of your son sounds like the most wonderful award for your determination. Congratulations on becoming a published writer!

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