I see you all sitting together in your groups, huddled over frothy cappuccinos. You speak through the steam, inhaling the scent of coffee, chatting and laughing.
You must think I am strange, standing out on my own, looking into the middle distance. If only you knew how much I wish I could be inside with you.
Another version of me would have made straight for the group, introduced myself and joined the conversation. But that was over twenty years ago. I’m different now.
They had no idea when they ridiculed me, no idea at all. It was “playground fun” they said. Well, it didn’t feel like fun to me.
They apologised in the end. But it’s easier to forgive than to forget.
They changed me. So when you see me standing alone, it’s not because I don’t want to speak to you. It’s because I can’t.
I could if you weren’t in a group. Or if I was still that other me.
I think you’d have liked me back then.
Enjoy your coffee.