Friday, 15 July 2011

Friday Flash: Layers

My morning is spent at the table, Brasso in hand. I rub away layers of tarnish and regain a long forgotten shine.

Late afternoon I chop an onion. As I slice and dice, I wonder at the consistent perfection of the flesh, even as the aroma makes my eyes water.

After tea, my daughter laughs up at me as I peel an apple. I concentrate as I try to remove the skin in one piece. As always, I fail.


And what of us? Now our children sleep, I think of you. The meetings get later, the mornings still early.

I bite my own apple.
I eat as if famished.
I reach the core.
Breaking a pip between my teeth, a bitter taste fills my mouth.

Perhaps we have become like those pips. What would happen if we found some soil and buried them in the ground? Would they flourish, or would they wither away; becoming nothing but a memory?

18 comments:

  1. Ooh, love this one, Rebecca! Very evocative. Plus, the layout is effective and 'slice and dice'rings nicely.

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  2. I found your story through fridayflash. Very poetic!

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  3. Lovely little microfiction, and I can relate to your MC.

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  4. Really lovely, I love the phrases, particularly the onion one and I love the sense of longing or nostalgia behind.

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  5. Polishing, chopping, peeling, trying to get to the heart of what's bothering her. Poetic and pretty and utterly charming.

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  6. I love the hum drum of chopping and polishing among deep thoughts of the narrator. That's how it goes isn't it? Great job.

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  7. I don't think I've ever cut into a perfect onion, but now I've read a slice of life about it! Good work, Rebecca.

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  8. when you keep stripping away at an onion, perfect flesh and all, eventually you are left with nothing. A perfect metaphor for life really and you burnished it up a treat in this piece.

    marc nash

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  9. Layers indeed! There is A Lot going on in these few words Rebecca, fantastic work!

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  10. A perfectly formed snippet of life.

    I used to try to peel an apple in one go too. Now I just eat it unpeeled :).

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  11. I feel a sense of sadness running through this, a sense of searching for something that may or may not be there to find.

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  12. Several others have said what I was thinking. Lovely!

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  13. I like the connection of the everyday action to the feeling or emotion she is thinking about. Very thoughtful piece, sad and comtemplative. It felt very real.

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  14. very nice, very evocative, peeling away the layers to get the core of the matter.

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  15. Very nice. I really like the way you related her daily doings with her deeper thinking.

    Really good. Thank you.
    Kwee
    Kwee Writings

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  16. Wonderful metaphor and deftly told.
    Adam B @revhappiness

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