Thursday, 9 May 2013

#Fridayflash: He Knew, She Knew.



He Knew, She Knew

They knew, they both agreed, they weren’t ready. He, because he never would be; she, because her heart had been ripped out by another and fed to the ravens.

Yet somehow he took her hand for a fleeting second and the void in her began to fill, a trickle at first, then a gradual flow.

Molten heat coursed through her veins the day they climbed that hill and discovered the tumbledown shepherds hut. In its inner sanctuary they placed their tartan blanket on the floor and consumed each other in full view of their unopened picnic basket.

As they ground their bodies together in frantic desperation to feel something, anything, he whispered her name and the sun warmed her face and the tear on her cheek. For a few moments as their cries echoed around the lonely valley, they were alive once more.

As they left the hut and returned down the hillside, the fire within her cooled and turned to stone.
“I care about you, you know that, don’t you?” he said, gazing at her with clear eyes. “I didn’t expect to feel like this but I do.”

She turned away to hide the conflict within her.

A raven flew overhead, casting a shadow across her face. She climbed wearily into her car and drove away, knowing she must never see him again.


21 comments:

  1. lovely imagery and see-saw of emotions flying about here, with the ravens and molten/stone dyad.


    marc nash

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    1. Thanks Marc. This was one of those ones that appeared in my head fully formed. I wish I knew where the ravens came from...

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  2. oh wow...so painful great stuff

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  3. Really enjoyed this. Want to know more about what's going on with her.

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    1. Thanks, Laura. And me too quite honestly. It was triggered by a piece of music that gave me a vivid mental image of a ruined hut on a hill...

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  4. She could see him again if she could just get proper revenge upon ravens. They're the problem in this relationship. That and what they cast upon her.

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    1. Hee hee. You're so right. Thanks for visiting, John!

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  5. Really loved, just everything about this, really. Imagery, word choice. Beautifully done.

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    1. Thank you so much for this lovely comment, I haven't written much at all lately so it means a lot.

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  6. I feel her, in more ways than one. Fantastic atmosphere in this Rebecca!

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  7. Just figuring out how people can do all that on an empty stomach ;-) Charged sad story.

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    1. Ha ha Pete quite! If it was me I'd be tucking in to the picnic.

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  8. Excellent story! At least they were able to feel something for a few minutes.

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    1. Thanks, Eric and thanks for visiting my blog.

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  9. "fed to the ravens" ..superb Rebecca!! Flash fiction at its most frantic and sublime best..

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    1. Thanks Tom, I know! The ravens may have to come into another story as they are niggling away in my head.

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  10. Really powerful stuff, Rebecca...and I kind of know this feeling too well.

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  11. That picnic basket might write a tell all....
    This was evocative. I can almost hear the music that inspired this.

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